Heart disease is funny and sexy!!
If you’re feeling suicidal but don’t like rushing into things, there’s a new slow way to kill yourself. Visit the Heart Attack Grill in Tempe, Arizona.

The menu includes the “Single,” “Double,” “Triple,” and “Quadruple Bypass Burgers,” the last of which proudly clocks in at 8000 calories. And what better to go with your burger than “Flatliner Fries,” which are “deep fried in pure lard!” Want a diet soda with that? Too bad. Only regular soda is served, so top of your meal with a Jolt Cola instead. For your convenience, unfiltered cigarettes can also be purchased directly off the menu.

For that extra special touch, a sexy “nurse” brings you your food and later carries your fat ass out to your car in a wheelchair.

To quote the owner (who incidentally dresses like a doctor despite not being one), “Don’t worry about what people are telling you. Live for the day.” Good advice if you want to be alive for just one more day.

Scientists placed a shrimp on a tiny treadmill to determine how fast and long it was able to run. For three hours the little bastard maintained a rate of about 3/4 of a mile per hour.

Not too shabby.

A few posts ago, I expressed annoyance at a new ad campaign by the Corn Refiners Association, claiming that high fructose corn syrup (HFCS) is really no worse for you than sugar. Having been told over and over again than corn syrup is one of the reasons we Americans are so fat, my immediate reaction was to label the campaign as propaganda. Even worse, I supported the argument with a quote from Dr. Mercola, someone who I’ve since discovered is a complete quack.

Perhaps HFCS has indeed been given unfair treatment. There are studies linking it to obesity, but this link could simply be due to overconsumption of products containing HFCS, products that would be just as unhealthy if sweetened with something else.

The health effects of HFCS certainly need to be studied further, but as of today, it’s not a slam-dunk win for either side.

PETA spokesperson. Coincidence?
The conditions in dairy farms today are such that cows being used for milk undergo quite a bit of suffering. PETA has a solution that will decrease demand for cow milk as well as improve human health: say no to the udder and yes to the human teat.

PETA has gone as far as writing a letter to Ben and Jerry’s Homemade Inc., urging the owners to make the switch to breast milk. (I’m not sure what the response was, but I can take a good guess.)

Although in theory the idea makes sense, in practice it’s more than a little disturbing. Sure, consuming the milk without gagging will be a challenge, but more importantly, how the hell are we going to collect it? Donations? Women farms?

The root of PETA’s overall mission is a good one. It’s a shame that the organization is run by a bunch of nuts.

From the September 22 New Yorker:

According to “Sarah,” a biography by Kaylene Johnson, Palin had got into politics after she befriended the man who was then mayor and his police chief at a step-aerobics class. She made them her allies and ran for City Council. Then she challenged them for control of City Hall, and drove them out.

And you thought step class was just about keeping fit.

Thanks for the article, Matt!